


Good Hyungdeul

by enkaychi



Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ
Genre: Abuse, Band Fic, Dark, F/F, M/M, emotional blackmail
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-07
Updated: 2016-02-18
Packaged: 2018-02-24 11:18:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2579624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/enkaychi/pseuds/enkaychi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Why were they getting back together?...Why when he finally had good hyungs, ones who didn’t hurt him or manipulate him or pretend to take care of him when all they really wanted was to satisfy their own filthy desires.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I was supposed to be writing Caught but this happened instead.

Changmin slumped over the toilet gasping, hands gripping the sides of the porcelain bowl tight enough to turn his knuckles white. He couldn’t catch his breath. Each inhalation brought to his nose a foul, putrid scent that churned his stomach. He would have vomited if he hadn’t already emptied his stomach. The odor was as clawing as the pain in his chest but he couldn’t get away from it. He couldn’t move. His body and mind were paralyzed, one word racing through his mind.

Why?

Why? Why? Why?

Why him?

Why them?

Why now?

Why were they getting back together?

JYJ was not TVXQ. They were not part of SM Entertainment. The did not owe anything to the company. They could all move on with their lives. The decision had been formalized almost two years ago so why were they coming back now.

Why after they had gotten the freedom they’d so desperately wanted?

Why after Changmin had finally stopped having nightmares?

Why when he had finally believed he’d found his haven after weathering the storm?

Why when he finally had good hyungs, ones who didn’t hurt him or manipulate him or pretend to take care of him when all they really wanted was to satisfy their own filthy desires.

Changmin froze further when he felt a firm chest settle against his back. Muscled arms wrapped around his waist and a chin settled over his shoulder. He hadn’t locked the door behind him, too worried about getting to the bathroom before he made a mess in the apartment. Changmin couldn’t throw up on the pristine floors, Jaejoong had always hated messes.

“It’s going to be okay,” Yunho murmured in Changmin’s ear.

Changmin wanted to scream. He wanted to shake his head in fury and denial but he knew better than to do that so he held still and slowed his breathing. He choked back the angry words that wanted to spill from his mouth.

It _was_ okay. _We_ were okay. Just the two of us.

Yunho squeezed him around his middle. “I promise it’ll be okay. The four of us are older now. We’ll be better. It won’t be like before.” Yunho nuzzled his nose against Changmin’s cheek and Changmin tried hard not to flinch away, nothing good ever came from that. “I promise, baby.”

It was the nail in Changmin’s coffin. Yunho could make all the promises he wanted and he would keep them, Yunho always kept his promises, but Yunho’s definition of _better_ did not match Changmin’s. It was the _baby_ that told him that.

Yunho hadn’t called Changmin baby in over five years. Yunho hadn’t done a lot of things since then. He hadn’t gazed at Changmin with lustful eyes. He hadn’t touched Changmin like he wanted to put him together just so he could break him apart again. He’d been better than he was when the four of them were together. He’d been a good hyung.

But a good hyung didn’t call Changmin baby.

The last time he’d had to listen to that word Changmin had been on his knees between Yunho’s legs with Yoochun’s come dripping out of his ass, his nose buried in Yunho’s groin with his lips stretched around the base of his cock, trying desperately to control his reflexes, terrified of what Jaejoong would do to him if he threw up on Yunho’s dick. It had been Jaejoong whispering in his ear then, telling him how perfect he was, how proud he was of Changmin. “You’re doing so good, baby.” All while alternately placing sucking open mouthed kisses on Changmin’s neck and licking around the place where Changmin’s mouth met Yunho’s dick.

The memory was nauseating.

Baby was not Changmin. Baby was someone who wore Changmin’s face and spoke with his voice but had none of his resolve and none of his determination.

Nothing was going to be better and Changmin wondered, not for the first time, if his life would have been different if he had just reigned in his curiosity that first year they’d been together. If instead of getting out of bed and looking, he’d just curled into the wall and closed his ears and mind to what was happening in their dorm. If he’d been more like Junsu.

-

It was an open secret among the members of Dong Bank Shin Ki that Yunho and Jaejoong were _together_. They didn’t discuss it, at least not with Changmin, and they didn’t pay it any particular attention.

They woke up, they (sometimes) ate. They went to practice. They came home. Changmin tried to sleep while Yunho fucked Jaejoong on the other side of the wall. It was just something that was, no different from breathing.

Changmin was almost certain that it would be better if they did talk about it, he wouldn’t be so damned curious all the time, but after a year of the five of them spending what seemed like every waking and sleeping moment together and no one addressing the issue, Changmin had resigned himself to having his mind plagued with questions.

He thought that Heechul and Kangin must not have had any problem with the relationship because neither Yunho nor Jaejoong had ever bothered to hide it, not even in the beginning when the five of them were all but strangers sharing the same space.

Changmin remembered the first night the five of them had spent together because he hadn’t been able to sleep all night, not with Yunho’s groans and Jaejoong’s moans filling the open space of their dormitory. The noise had made him sit up in shock and look around in the darkness to make sure he wasn’t imagining it.

“Hyung?” Changmin had whispered into the room the five of them shared.

He could see just enough to see Yunho and Jaejoong’s empty beds and Junsu rubbing at his eyes and flopping over, pulling his blankets over his head and sleepily murmuring something Changmin couldn’t make out. The noise hadn’t bothered Junsu, not enough to make him lose sleep.

Yoochun had just let out a sigh. “Just ignore it, Changmin.”

It hadn’t been a helpful suggestion. “I can’t.” If he had been able to ignore it he wouldn’t have said anything in the first place.

“ _Try_.”

“But-”

“Changmin,” Yoochun had said sharply. “Just go to sleep.”

Changmin had flopped back down onto his mattress, face twisting in a scowl. He had unhelpful hyungs, one dead to the world and the other functionally and actively useless. 

His thirty second conversation with Yoochun had been the full extent of discussion about Jaejoong and Yunho’s relationship. Changmin had tried to ask Yoochun about it later, when Jaejoong and the other boy had become closer, but all he’d gotten for his troubles was a sharp look and the firm impression that anything relating to The Relationship was Not To Be Discussed.

But it wasn’t as if Changmin could just put it out of his mind. When there was an elephant in the room people might have been able to avoid looking at it and talking about it but they sure as hell didn’t stop thinking about it, not when they could hear it trumpeting and felt the ground shaking every time it moved.

Thy dorm they lived in now was bigger than that first one and devoid of live-in managers to watch their every step, not that their presence had ever deterred his hyungs from their activities, and Changmin had learned by this point to sleep through the apocalypse if it meant he wouldn’t be dead on stage, but every so often it was like there were a million cats scratching at the door he had put The Relationship behind, too hard to ignore.

Changmin tossed and turned in his bed, pulled the blankets over his head, covered his face with his pillow, and curled up into a ball to escape the noise. But tonight he was too sensitive to the soft gasps of pleasure and the quiet squeaks the bed made.

He let out a frustrated groan and pushed his bedding down to the foot of the bed. He sat up and swung his legs off the side of the bed. His fingers clutched the edge of the mattress and he wanted to convince himself to lie back down but all he heard was the little devil in the back of his mind saying _just this once_.

Just one quick look. Just to see. Just a peak and then back to bed. Just this one time. Just this once.

By the time he realized he’d left the bed Changmin was already creeping silently through the room, two short pauses to make sure Yoochun and Junsu were still asleep. He was already up, he might as well keep going.

When he reached the door he turned the knob slowly pulling the door open and tip toed out into the hallway.

He didn’t need to go far. Jaejoong’s and Yunho’s room was right next to his. The sound of sex was louder in the hallway, the noise escaping through the crack between the floor and the bottom of their bedroom door, unmuffled by the wall between the two bedrooms and it made Changmin pause.

He shouldn’t do this. The five of them had become close but not close enough for this gross invasion of privacy. This wasn’t like walking in on someone jerking off in the bathroom or showering together because they’re going to be late and don’t have time to waste. This was a deliberate violation but Changmin was here already so he pushed the door open and peaked through the crack only to jerk back and pull the door shut so quickly it slammed loudly. Changmin flinched because even if, and it is a very big if, Jaejoong hadn’t seen Changmin, because his hyung had been staring straight at the door when Changmin had opened it, then the slam definitely let Jaejoong and Yunho know he was there.

Changmin sprinted back to his bed, ignoring Junsu and Yoochun who had been woken up by the door slamming, cursing his lack of control. Maybe they could pretend it didn’t happen. Maybe Jaejoong and Yunho would just ignore his spying and forget about it. Hopefully, getting caught would cure Changmin of his curiosity.

-

Changmin wasn’t curious anymore. He’d seen more of Yunho and Jaejoong than he’d ever really wanted to. He’d scrub his brain if he could. All he wanted to do was move past his colossal lapse in good judgment and go back to when no one talked about The Relationship because he had been wrong. He had been so very very wrong.

It wasn’t better to discuss it. It wasn’t better to acknowledge it. These days Changmin spent most of his time in a state of constant embarrassment because while Yunho may have been content to let Changmin try and delude himself (except for the staring, Yunho stared at him all the time now), Jaejoong was not. Jaejoong didn’t ignore it, didn’t pretend it didn’t happen, and he was no longer content to leave his relationship with Yunho in the realm of things Not To Be Discussed.

Jaejoong smirked at Changmin all the time. He asked what Changmin wanted to know about sex because: “Changminnie, hyung will tell you everything, baby.” 

Baby. Changmin had grumbled at Jaejoong and said not to call him that. He was not a baby, thank you very much. Jaejoong had grinned at him and patted him on the head.

That was another thing. The touching. Jaejoong touched him all the time now. A pat on the head to accompany a plate of food. Hands rubbing his shoulders after long hours of practice. An arm thrown around him when they were waiting to go on stage. A head leaning against his when they were sleeping in the back of the van. Arms around his waist. Light taps on his butt. Soft strokes down his arms. Lips pressed against his cheeks. Always touching. Yunho stared and Jaejoong touched.

Changmin did not like to be touched.

For the most part, his members had always respected that, Yunho’s uncontrollable urges of physical displays of affection being the occasional exception, but was as if Jaejoong had forgotten that and eventually “Baby, hung will tell you everything,” became “Baby, hyung will _show_ you everything.”

It made Changmin nervous and more than a little afraid because as nice and as caring as Yunho usually was, when it came to Jaejoong he was a different person. A jealous, angry, possessive person. Changmin didn’t want to be on the receiving end of that jealousy. He’d seen Yunho look at Yoochun like he wanted nothing more than to chain him to a bag of stones and drop the other boy in the Han River too many times to be unafraid of what Yunho would do to him if he took Jaejoong up on any offers to show him anything.

Although in retrospect, Changmin thought he should have known better than to think Jaejoong was acting independently. As possessive as Yunho was, Jaejoong was devoted in equal parts.

It wasn’t until Changmin was sitting on Yunho’s bed with Jaejoong gently working his mouth open with his tongue and Yunho rubbing up and down his sides that Changmin realized he’d been some kind of stupid. He should have pushed them away, told them to stop, but he didn’t. It felt too good.

Physical attraction wasn’t a foreign concept to Changmin, he was a healthy teenage boy, but he’d never done anything about it. He was too busy with school, then with practice to do anything about the stirrings he’d felt towards some of the girls he’s known. Then he was in Dong Bang Shin Ki and dating was not an option. He knew some idols just sneaked around and dated secretly but he never felt inclined to do so. This was the first time he’d ever been touched like this.

Changmin startled when Yunho slipped his hands around to the front of his pants and slid them inside. He gasped and jerked away from Jaejoong’s mouth.

Jaejoong cupped his cheeks and pulled Changmin’s face back towards his, whispering, “It’s okay, baby. Just feel,” before claiming Changmin’s mouth again.

Yunho’s hands on him feel nothing like it did when Changmin touched himself, nothing like the quick jerks Changmin used to get himself off as quickly as possible, wary that someone would walk in on him at any moment. It was slow and rhythmic though not predictable. The touch was firm but gentle, careful not to cause Changmin any pain. And the heat pooling in Changmin’s abdomen felt like a gentle hurricane, both too much and not enough.

When he came, Jaejoong swallowed moan that rumbled up from Changmin’s chest and too much, not enough became too much, too far. Changmin struggled to get away, pulling at Yunho’s arms and pushing at Jaejoong’s chest.

He scrambled off the bed, evading Yunho’s attempts to to keep hold of him and Jaejoong’s calls. He needed to get clean. He was trembling when he pulled his clothes off in the bathroom and stepped into the shower. He rinsed the come off his groin but could still feel the heat of it against his skin.

He felt dirty.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mind the warnings and take care of yourself.

Changmin rubbed the towel over his head, drying his wet hair, and sat on the edge of the bed in the hotel room. It had been a long day of rehearsals followed by a performance filled with screaming fans and he was exhausted. He shot a tired grin at Jongyul, the manager he had taken to rooming with when they traveled for concerts, who was at the desk on the phone. He had refused to room with Jaejoong or Yunho after the _incident_ and both Yoochun and Junsu said they didn’t want to room with him. Jongyul was immune to Changmin’s idiosyncrasies and didn’t mind putting up with him. Besides, Changmin quite liked him and they got along well.

Changmin tossed the wet towel on the floor and uncapped the bottle of face cream the stylist noonas insisted he use every night. He squeezed a small amount into his hands and rubbed it into his face knowing they would find out if he didn’t complete the assigned nightly rituals and make him pay for it. He noticed Jongyul had finished his call and was studying him.

“Something wrong, hyung?”

Jongyul shook his head. “Come here for a second.”

Changmin stood up and made his way around his bed to the desk, curious as to what the manager wanted.

Jongyul took Changmin’s hand in his. “You’re really pretty you know,” he said.

Changmin flushed and wrinkled his nose. Pretty was how people described Jaejoong. Changmin usually got cut cute or adorable or the occasional funny looking. It was okay if Jongyul thought he wasn’t ugly but Changmin didn’t really need to know about it. He didn’t need the validation, false as it was.

Jongyul laughed. “You are,” he insisted. “I know you don’t think so but you are.” He tugged on Changmin’s hand pulling him closer. “You and Jaejoong are similar in a lot of ways.” He let go of Changmin’s hand and placed his hands on the teenager’s hips.

“Hyung?” Changmin felt a flutter in his stomach. Jongyul’s behavior was abnormal. The man usually had no problem acting like Changmin’s personal space bubble was a physical thing, keeping his random hair ruffles and back slaps away from Changmin. It was one of the reasons Changmin liked him.

Jongyul pulled Changmin closer saying, “You’re both the type who tempt good men into thinking and doing things they shouldn’t.”

Changmin’s heart beat faster as a wave of cold crept through his body. It was one thing for Jaejoong and Yunho to try and seduce him into having some kind of threesome with them, Changmin almost had himself convinced that they were just stupid hedonists who’d misinterpreted his own admittedly very strange behavior the wrong way, but this was something else entirely. Jongyul was a grown man. He was married to a beautiful, nice, caring woman. He had a kid!

Changmin’s face paled at the feel of fingers creeping under his shirt and curling into the waistband of his sleep pants. He slammed his hands into Jongyul’s chest and sprinted for the door. Yunho and Jaejoong may have caught him so off guard those months ago that he hadn’t been able to think until it was over but he knew better now. He didn’t have any problem reading signs as blatant as the one Jongyul was showing him, even if he must have missed all the others before it because he hadn’t once suspected Jongyul would do something something like this.

He didn’t take anything with him as he ran out of the room, simply needing to get away as quickly as possible. He pounded a fist on Yoochun’s and Junsu’s door. “Yoochun hyung! Junsu hyung!” Hearing no answer to his calls, he cursed. It wasn’t as if he could go back and get his phone to call them begging them to come back from wherever they were and let him in.

“Minnie?” Jaejoong’s voice called from behind him.

Changmin turned slowly to see Jaejoong sticking his head out of the door across the hall. “Where are Yoochun hyung and Junsu hyung?” he asked.

Jaejoong blinked large eyes at him. “They said they were going out for a bit,” he said stepping out into the hall.

Changmin swallowed. “When will they be back?”

Jaejoong shrugged his shoulders. “They didn’t say. What’s wrong?”

Changmin opened his mouth but the words stuck in his throat. How was he supposed to answer? How did you admit to something like that? He didn’t know. His closed his mouth with a soft click.

Jaejoong crossed the hall and wrapped his fingers around Changmin’s shoulder. He frowned. “You’re shaking.”

Was he? He was. Changmin hadn’t noticed the tremor in his muscles until Jaejoong pointed it out.

“Come inside,” Jaejoong said pulling him towards the other door.

Changmin hesitated. He might have convinced himself that Jaejoong and Yunho were harmless but that didn’t mean he was eager to place himself in a situation that would end up with one their tongues in his mouth and the other’s hand down his pants. Not now of all times.

He berated himself. It wasn’t like they had hurt him. It wasn’t like they would ever really hurt him and he couldn’t stay out here. He couldn’t be loitering about the hotel out in the open if Jongyul came to look for him. He nodded shakily and let Jaejoong lead him to the other room.

Yunho was lying on the bed (the single bed in the room, something in the back of Changmin’s mind registered) watching the television when they came in. He looked up at them with a wrinkled forehead.

Jaejoong pressed his lips together and shook his head at Yunho, pulling Changmin to sit on the edge of the bed. Jaejoong sat next to him and gently threaded his fingers through Changmin’s hair hair. “What’s wrong?” he asked again softly.

Changmin leaned into the touch taking the offered comfort. He was suddenly reminded that this was the hyung who took care of him when he was sick, who always made sure he had enough to eat, and who yelled at anyone who disturbed him when he was trying to sleep. He felt guilty for the way he had been avoiding the two of them, it wasn’t like he had ever actually told them no. They would have left him alone if he had.

“Do you want me to get Jongyul hyung?” Jaejoong asked when Changmin didn’t answer.

“No!” Changmin shouted wildly. That was the last think he needed

Jaejoong’s hand stopped moving and Changmin squeezed his eyes shut to try and stop the tears threatening to spill down his face.

“What did he do?” Yunho’s hard voice asked.

Changmin shuddered at the tone. He opened his eyes when he felt Jaejoong’s hands cupping his cheeks. 

“What did he do?” Jaejoong asked, eyes searching Changmin’s face for answers, looking like there would be hell to pay for other people if he did not like Changmin’s answer. “Did he touch you, baby?”

It was testament to Changmin’s unsettled state of mind that he didn’t feel so much as a twinge of annoyance at the much hated endearment. 

“He did, didn’t he?” Jaejoong interpreted Changmin’s silence as a confirmation. A slight dip of Changmin’s head proved him right.

“Fuck!” Yunho cursed, jumping off the bed. “I knew it! I told hyungnim there was something wrong with him.”

Changmin didn’t know which hyungnim Yunho was talking about, there were a lot of them connected to the company, but he hoped the man, whoever he was, choked on all the money they made him.

“Yunho, stop,” Jaejoong said sharply. “Sit down.”

Yunho settled on Changmin’s other side with flared nostrils, hands clenching and unclenching at his sides.. Changmin leaned away from him and Yunho seemed to slump in on himself in reaction, sighing before snaking a comforting arm around Changmin’s waist.

Jaejoong resumed his stroking of Changmin’s hair. “You did the right thing running away. Men like that are dangerous.”

It was funny because Changmin didn’t feel like he’d done the right thing. He just felt his stomach churning.

“Do you know how me and Yunho got together?” Jaejoong asked after a moment of silence.

Changmin shook his head. It was one of those things that was never talked about.

“You know we both had a hard time when we came to Seoul,” Jaejoong continued.

Changmin nodded. He had heard all about the period of homelessness Yunho had suffered and the many part-time jobs Jaejoong took to make ends meet.

“We were really desperate back then.” Jaejoong paused, seeming like he was gathering his thoughts. “It wasn’t long after we’d met that a man came up to us and offered us a hundred thousand won to kiss for him.”

Changmin didn’t know how to react to that statement any better than he knew how to answer Jaejoong’s questions.

“A hundred thousand won was a lot of money for us and it was such an easy thing to do. You couldn’t make that much sucking dick. We did it on impulse without even bothering to check if the man had the money or asking him why he wanted us to do it.

Jaejoong chuckled. “Maybe we were just waiting for an excuse to do it. It was really easy. We just touched our lips together. Nothing dirty, it was less than a second. And that man, he just smiled at us and pulled out the cash, handed it over without any fuss. He didn’t look at us like we were disgusting. He didn’t he didn’t call us filthy names. He didn’t try to touch us. He just said thank you and left.”

Changmin shifted between them. When he’d allowed himself to think about it, he’d imagined that Yunho and Jaejoong had had some kind of epic love story where they fell in love fighting against everything that told them they were wrong to be together. The reality was… unsavory. He didn’t want to know any more.

Unfortunately, Jaejoong wasn’t done. “We kind of freaked out after that. Yunho didn’t talk to me for days.” He reached behind Changmin and jabbed Yunho in the side, smiling wide at Yunho’s grunt of pain. “But that man came back, again and again and again, offering us more money every time. 

“First it was just a kiss, then a touch. Above the waist, then below. I gave Yunho his first blowjob in the back room of some bar. He didn’t record us or take pictures of us, he just liked to watch. We weren’t hurting anyone, he wasn’t hurting us, and we weren’t broke and hungry anymore. The first time we fucked was in some fancy hotel with him watching us from a chair in front of the bed. He swore he would make us famous.

Jaejoong wrapped his arms around Changmin on top of Yunho’s and rested his forehead against Changmin’s temple. “And you know what? He did. Things got a lot easier for us after that.”

Changmin trembled at the whispers of breath that brushed against his face.

“Do you know what that man is Changmin?” Jaejoong asked.

“He’s a pedophile.”

Jaejoong lifted his head away from Changmin’s. “No. Jongyul is a pedophile. He’s a disgusting deviant who deserves to rot in prison for the rest of his life,” his tone expressed his contempt for the man he no longer accorded honorifics. “Our hyungnim is the person who taught us life’s all about give and take.”

The way Jaejoong talked about the man who had taken advantage of them was disturbing. His voice bore an undercurrent of affection and more than a slight hint of awe.

“You might think he took something from us, but he gave us everything in return.”

“Why are you telling me this?” Changmin’s mouth felt dry and scratchy. He might have thought at first that Jaejoong was sympathizing with him but he didn’t see himself or Yunho as victims. He spoke of the man like he was the great savior of their lives.

Yunho spoke for the first time since Jaejoong started his story. “We can make Jongyul go away.” His hand rubed Changmin’s back. “We just want you to do one thing for us.”

Changmin felt the shivers racking his body this time and hugged his arms around his stomach to try and stop the shaking. It didn’t work. Give and take. He looked down at his lap not wanting to see either of them. He wanted to pretend he didn’t know what Yunho meant. “Hyung, please.” The words escaped his mouth without permission and even to his own ears they sounded small and helpless.

Yunho touched his forehead to Changmin’s other temple, mimicking Jaejoong’s earlier pose. Arms wrapped themselves around his body from both sides, trapping him between two impossible situations.

“We want to help you but we can only protect you if you let us.” Lips brushed against his cheek, whispering the terrible words. “We love you, baby. We’ll make you feel good.”

Changmin barely heard the words. He didn’t resist when he was pulled onto Yunho’s lap. His legs fell to either side of Yunho’s, bent at the knees, shins resting on the mattress. He let Yunho kiss him and followed easily when Yunho leaned back and scooted them up the bed.

Jaejoong settled at their sides, his chest resting against their arms, and stroked Changmin’s back. 

Changmin closed his eyes. He could do this, they wouldn’t hurt him. He couldn’t even blame them for this. They might not have seen themselves as such, but they were victims. That man had taken advantage of their desperation and messed them up. It was only Changmin’s bad karma that this was the price he had to pay for safety.

Jaejoong’s lips fluttered against Changmin’s cheek. “Well take good care of you, baby.”

A pounding on the door had the three of them looking up. “Jaejoong hyung?” The door handle jiggled. “We got the stuff you wanted.”

A jolt of ice cut through Changmin’s haze. He scrambled backwards off of Yunho, knocking Jaejoong in the chest as he did so, and for the second time that night ran for safety. He wrenched the hotel room door open and threw himself at Junsu, strangling the other boy’s neck.

He ignored Yoochun’s questioning looks and Junsu’s awkward pats on his back, closing his eyes and squeezing tighter. He was saved.

-

Changmin frowned at the giggling Jaejoong and Yoochun as they left the apartment to go wherever it was the two of them went when they had the free time and Yunho was holed up at the company doing whatever leader things he had to do. He breathed a sigh of relief when the door shut leaving him with Junsu. He stretched his arms over his head, moaning at the relief he could feel coursing through his muscles. He’d been wound so tight lately he barely remembered what normal felt like.

He’d spent every waking moment in a heightened state of vigilance to guard against being maneuvered into any more unsavory circumstances. He was strained to the limit, only able to relax when he was with Yoochun or Junsu, something that didn’t happen often. Yoochun was too close to Jaejoong and when given the choice Junsu spent more time with his twin or Hyukjae than he did with any of them. Not even being alone gave Changmin any reprieve, he spent the time afraid that Jongyul, Yunho, or Jaejoong would suddenly appear. Moments when Changmin could breathe easy were rare but he took full advantage of them when the opportunity arose.

“Minnie?”

Changmin peered at Junsu, letting his arms rest at his sides.

“Is something better you?”

Changmin contemplated telling Junsu the truth, to lift the heavy burden of the secrets he held, but quickly dismissed the idea. It wasn’t any easier to tell Junsu about Jongyul than it was to tell Jaejoong. And what would he even say about Jaejoong and Yunho. Anything he could say would destroy their group. 

Changmin wasn’t alone in Dong Bang Shin Ki. He couldn’t throw Junsu’s years of toiling work down the drain and although Yoochun had fell into his role a lot like Changmin had, he was committed to it now and Changmin wouldn’t take that away. Yunho and Jaejoong as well. Despite everything that had happened, Changmin couldn’t, wouldn’t do that to them.

He shook his head. “I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?”

Changmin smiled and nodded.

Junsu was silent as if unsure of whether or not he should believe Changmin’s words but eventually sighed. “Alright. You should go shower before Yunho hyung comes back. I’ll come get you if he does.”

Changmin narrowed his eyes. Did Junsu mean something by that? He observed the other boy looking for signs that Junsu knew more than he let on but didn’t see anything other than Junsu’s usual open demeanor. “Okay, thank you.” He grabbed his things from their room and headed for the small bathroom.

Shutting the door behind him, he undressed and stepped into the shower. He let out a long breath as the water messaged his aching muscles. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d had the time to enjoy his baths and actually taken it. His showers had become utilitarian, spending only enough time naked to wash the dirt and sweat from his body. He leaned his hands on the tiles in front of him and ducked his head under the spray letting the water wash away his exhaustion.

He was so distracted by finally having time to himself that he didn’t notice another person’s presence until the shower curtains were pulled back and Jongyul climbed into the small space with him.

Changmin’s shoulders tightened and his fingers pressed hard against the tile. How did Jongyul come in here? Junsu had promised to let him know is someone— no. Junsu said he’d get Changmin if _Yunho_ came back. He had no reason to think Changmin would want to know if Jongyul was in their dorm. But didn’t he think there was something wrong with the man coming into the bathroom while Changmin was showering?

No. He wouldn’t. Their managers were responsible for making sure they arrived at all their schedules on time. If they had to pull someone out of the bath half covered in soap then they would do it— repeatedly.

Jongyul rubbed his hands over Changmin’s shoulders. “You’ve been avoiding me.”

Changmin’s fingers slipped across the tile and he stumbled forward. Jongyul caught him, arms holding him around his stomach. Changmin leaned his forehead against the shower wall and breathed deeply, trying to calm the pounding in his chest. “I haven’t.”

He had.

He’d begged Yoochun and Junsu to share hotel rooms with him when they went abroad. He’d followed after the last person to leave the room if it looked like he was going to be left alone with Jongyul. He’d taken any concerns he had to the other managers when once he would have gone to Jongyul. He didn’t speak to Jongyul unless it was clear that someone would think it was strange if he didn’t.

Jongyul’s chin took ownership of the dip between Changmin’s neck and shoulder like that’s where it was always supposed to be. His chest bore down on Changmin’s back sending an unbearable hotness through Changmin’s body. “You have.” 

“Please,” Changmin rasped. Please stop. Please leave. Please don’t do this.

“There are rules you know. We’re not allowed to… interfere with your relationships. I was worried when you went to Yunho and Jaejoong, but I was mistaken.”

Jongyul’s lips seared like hot iron against the spot under his ear. “Please,” Changmin begged again, unable to get anything but the single word past his throat. He trembled as the man rubbed his hands up and down his sides. The sound of the shower increased to a loud rumble. Each drop of water sent a shock dancing across his skin.

Slippery fingers burrowed between his ass cheeks and dug their way into him. Changmin gasped and his muscles tightened against the breach. It did nothing to stop the intrusion or the pain.

He hung his head and clenched his teeth to smother the cries that rose up from his chest. He studied the small rivers of water as they swirled down the drain, anything to take his mind off of what was happening behind him. When the the swirls became tinted with pink he barely noticed, he didn’t notice anything until Jongyul was turning him around pressing his lips to his own.

“Sorry, sorry. Fuck, I’m sorry,” the man whispered against Changmin’s mouth

Changmin’s stomach roiled. The man shouldn’t have done it in the first place if he was going to be sorry.

Jongyul soaped up his hands and scrubbed Changmin’s skin. He made sure to clean Changmin’s hole, erasing all traces of himself from Changmin’s abused body. He shut off the shower spray and wrapped Changmin in a towel still spilling a litany of apologies before he put on his clothes and left.

Changmin legs buckled and gave out, dropping him to the floor.

-

Changmin didn’t know how long he sat alone in the dark. He paid no attention to the movement and noises outside the bedroom door. When the lights came on he blinked to clear the spots from his vision. He pushed his way past Yoochun, ignoring the other’s boys annoyed grunts.

He slipped into Jaejoong’s and Yunho’s room, taking note of them curled around each other on a bed. “Can you really get rid of him?”

Neither of them asked who ‘him’ was. They just nodded slowly, eyes shining.

Changmin took a deep breath. “Okay.” He set his jaw. “Okay,” he said again and crawled onto the bed.


End file.
